


Chances

by ASlick12



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: M/M, kid Ryo, matsumoto jun / akanishi jin (past)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASlick12/pseuds/ASlick12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes life wants to give love a second chance before you even know you're ready.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been sitting in my head for a while so I thought I'd write it out. There will be more than one chapter but for now it's only the first. Anyway enjoy!

Fandom: 嵐

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Sakumoto

Title: Chances

1

 

 

“Ike, ike...” Jun ushers the little boy out of the house while balancing his toast between his teeth, his bag on his arm, and the boy's school bag in his hand. Somehow he manages to lock the door behind him without dropping anything and losing sight of his son. The boy on the other hand skips happily down the street unbeknownst to Jun's juggling act. “Oi don't run with toast in your mouth you'll choke.” The little boy slows to a walk and soon falls quietly alongside Jun. There were not many people in the quiet town that Jun had chosen which was nice because fewer people meant less people figuring out who they were. The corner holding the boy's school was coming into view and the boy seems to melt further into the man's side in fear. His fingers tighten on Jun's leg with each step closer to the nursery.

Other kids run up into the gates but instead of running to make new friends the boy grips onto his pants and squeezes for all he is worth. “Can't we go back?” Jun glances down at the little boy with fear shining in his bright eyes and smiles sadly down at him before squatting down. The little boy has worry seeping into his eyes and Jun cannot help but smile sadly down at him.

“Gomen Ryo-chan, but we can't.” Ryo's eyes begin to fill with fat tears as his fingers reach up to lock around Jun's neck. Ryo never wanted to leave his papa at school after the accident. He had associated his school with what had happened, the therapists said, and Jun leaving him there was going to be a struggle even if the building and city were new. “Look how about this; Papa will leave the good luck elephant with you. That way you know I have to come back and get it.”

Little Ryo gasps in surprise as Jun unhooks his necklace and clasps it around the boy's thin neck. Ryo's tears seem to dry up at that and Jun smiles lovingly down at his son. Inside he felt empty already having not taken the necklace off since it was returned to him. With a happy grin the boy allows Jun to stand and clasps his hand tightly. Jun leads him into the school toward the door marked 1A. The school was much smaller than Ryo's old one with only a single floor and three classrooms and four teachers. On the door there was a large cut out of an elephant and another of a panda. Roy gasps in surprise and points at it excitedly.

“You must be Matsumoto-san.”

Jun whirls around in surprise to be met with the face of a handsome man. The man before him wore a white tee shirt under a red cardigan and a pair of dark black jeans. Above all of those thing he wore an apron that said 'sensei' in big bold writing. “Hai, I'm Matsumoto Jun and this is Matsumoto Ryo.” Jun offers the man a nervous smile and his returning grin surprised Jun with how beautiful it made him appear. His already full cheeks move high toward his eyes and small lines appeared under their curve accenting his strong jaw. His eyes were bright and welcoming something Jun could never manage with his hard features.

“Ohayo Ryo-chan! I'm Sakurai Sho and I'll be your new sensei.” Ryo glances up at the man and studies him quietly for a long moment much to his papa's dismay. That moment is broken in the next when he offers his new sensei a dazzling grin. Ryo shakes the man's hand properly like his Daddy had taught him and then the sensei turns his gaze to Jun; all wide and honest eyes. “Matsumoto-san I'm sure Ohno-san told you everything you needed to know when you visited last month but I'm here if you have questions or concerns regarding Ryo-chan.”

Sakurai looks up at Jun with no hint of unease in his eyes. Most people looked at a single parent and didn't bat an eyelash at being verbally rude. Jun had become very used to it over the last year of raising Ryo on his own. In fact he expected it most times. This man merely looked sincere and heart warming which was marginally different than what Jun expected. “Hai, of course, thank you.” Jun glances up at the clock and smiles softly before bending down to meet the eyes of Ryo. “Papa has to go to work. Try to make some new friends and be good for Sakurai-sensei.”

The little boy nods and bites his lip in worry. Sho watches in confusion as instead of hugging his son like the sensei would have expected he instead reaches out and pokes the small metal elephant hung about the boys neck. “You promise to come back?” Sho's eyes widen at the whispered question and how the man did not seem to feel upset by it. Instead he smiles sadly and ruffles his son's hair. Lip biting must have been a family trait them because the boy's father proceeds to bite his lip before grinning brightly at his son.

“Of course you have daddy's necklace.”

The little boy grins and runs toward the boxes looking for the newly marked one baring his name. Sakurai stands and meets Jun's gaze with a steady smile. Sho thought it odd that Jun didn't say papa but that it was Ryo's daddy's necklace considering the boy consistently called Jun Papa. The man politely excuses himself to work and disappears down the long corridor. Jun for the most part catches his train on time and makes it to work with a few moments to spare. His chest feels a bit bare where the pendant usually sat but over all he knew that it was a small price to pay for the happiness of his son.

 

~~嵐~~

 

The first day wore on painfully slow and Sho knew from the beginning that little Ryo was a special kid. His grin was always happy and he immediately made friends within the class but sometimes he would drift away into thought and sighs unhappily while clutching at his necklace. Sho also knew that the boy would be one of the last if not the last children to be picked up as prearranged with his father and Ohno-san. So it was no surprise when the little boy sat patiently near the door waiting for his father and drawing a picture. Perhaps this was not anything new for the child considering the fact that Ohno had commented that his father was a single parent for a year or so before they moved into the school.

Sho continued cleaning his classroom while the boy drew and eventually sat down across from him to glance at what he was drawing when he had nothing left to finish. “That's a good picture, Ryo-chan, who is it?” The little looks up with a toothy grin and wide eyes before pushing the picture closer to Sho. From where he was sitting Sho could make out five figures each of a different height and with varying shades of hair from black to blonde, brown, and bright red.

His stubby finger points at the tall black haired figure. “That's papa he takes care of uncle Nin-jii but papa used to be in a lot of pictures before he had me. Soemtimes he still takes them but he hasn't for a while.” The same stubby finger points to the much shorter figure that's squished in the middle. “That's me.” There were several other figures in the picture and he points to the one on the left of Jun that is really vary short with blonde hair. “That is Nin-jii and that,” His finger flies to the opposite side of the page where a hastily drawn figure with dark brown hair is standing, “is Shu-jii. He and Nin-jii help papa and make sure we're okay. They also make Papa cook them dinner in return.”

“Who's that.”

Sho points idly at the figure with long light red hair and with a necklace around his neck. His stick thin hand held up two fingers and had an arm wrapped around Jun's shoulder despite Ryo being squished between them. “Oh that's daddy.” The little boy doesn't say much else for a while and instead goes on to finish drawing the names of the people under their picture. “We have a picture like this in the new house. Papa made it really big and hung it in the kitchen. He likes when we're all together for dinner so he hung it their special.”

Sho nods and takes up a piece of paper to begin folding it quietly next to the boy. He chose a shade of lilac as that seemed to be the little boy's favorite color. “So you have two dads, Ryo-chan?” The little boy looks up and nods quietly before returning his gaze to the page.

“Hai.” Sho nods and continued twisting the sheet of paper. Soon enough the little boy is watching his hands move. Sho allows the boy to figure out what it is he wants to say and does not push him to talk more. If working with Ohno-sensei taught him anything it was that he had to have patience and let them come to him. “Papa and Daddy both had the same job and they wanted a baby. So papa said they prayed to the kami and the baby place called them and told them that they had two days to get ready for baby me. Sometimes I miss daddy even though I know papa said he's with me and I know Papa misses him too. Sometimes he cries when he thinks I'm asleep snd Nin-jii or Shu-jii are visiting.”

Sho glances up at the boy and presents him with the origami elephant he had been folding. Ryo's eyes brighten intensely and he grins while accepting the gift with an incline of his head and a murmured thank-you. Ryo was certainly much more perceptive than most children his age. It seemed like he had been through a lot with his parents and they certainly would have gone through many trouble before hand if he had two fathers. Sho wonders what Jun and his significant other did for a living that enabled him to care for a child so well on his own. “Why do you miss your daddy? Does he travel a lot for work?” Ryo clutches at the paper elephant and doesn't answer for a few minutes. Sho is worried that he said the wrong thing until the little boy begins to whisper mostly to himself.

“He used to.”

There was a sadness in the child's voice that does not escape Sho's notice and the young sensei had to wonder if maybe the young boy's 'daddy' was actually no longer with their family. If perhaps he and Jun had split up and Jun was awarded full custody or other much worse things had occurred.

Just as he's about to speak again there is a knock on the door before Jun is stepping through the open side. “Konbanwa Ryo-chan. Are you ready to go home now?” The little boy jumps up completely forgetting their conversation and shows his father his picture in glee before running off to grab his bag. Jun bows sharply shocking the young teacher as he pulls his apron over his head. “Arigato Sakurai-sensei; for spending your free time staying behind with Ryo..”

“Ah doitashimashite Matsumoto-san; Ryo is a wonderful child to have. Though he can be a bit withdrawn he is incredibly intelligent and perceptive for his age. I enjoyed my time with him today.”

“Arigato, We...well I have been trying to raise him to the best of my abilities.”

Sho bites his lip upon seeing the strong flash of sadness in Jun's eyes when he realizes his mistake. “Pardon me if I might be stepping out of like Matsumoto-san, but if you two ever need anything just let me know. It must be hard being a single parent and having many parents like you here we strive to make sure that they've got all the resources that they need. I can tell though, that Ryo-chan will do great things.” The nursery had seen an overabundance of struggling parents trying to make it through piling bills and the costs of raising a child. Sho had also seen the struggles of people who were single parent households trying to keep their lives together enough to support their child. He had never before offered his help so directly but there was something about Jun that drew him in.

“H-hai. Arigato Sakurai-sensei. That means a great deal to me, to us. Some people are not as understanding as you all have been.” Jun bows politely and take up his son's hand when the little boy reaches for his without even looking. “We'll see you tomorrow morning Sakurai-sensei,won't we Ryo?” The little boy nods sharply with a bright but sleepy grin. “We've got to get someone home and get food in his tiny tummy, ne? Have a great night Sakurai-sensei!”

Sho watches as the pair walk down the hall only to stop when the little boy pulls on his Papa's arm. Sho watches happily as Jun swings the boy onto his shoulders with ease before walking off juggling everything perfectly in his free hand. Sometimes the power of a single parent surprised the teacher but this might have been what his parents meant when they signed him up for the tutoring jobs in college. The Matsumoto family would certainly be a surprise; he was sure of that.

 


	2. 2

Fandom: 嵐

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Sakumoto

Title: Chances

2

 

The house was quiet once more after Ryo had fallen asleep an hour prior. Their dinner plates were set out to dry and be put away before Jun drug himself into bed. Shun and Nino had left only an hour before on Jun's insistence that he would be okay for the night and the house felt oddly quiet for once. One lamp was lit by the book shelf and the only other light came from the television. The television lit up the corner of the living room as Jun sat on the sofa concentrating on sewing Ryo's name onto his clothing for the up coming sleepover party his friend would be having for his birthday. Aiba-san, the little boy's father, had invited Jun to hang around with some other parents for the evening until the boys fell asleep and Jun was hesitant to take up the invitation. Nino had almost kicked him when he said he wasn't sure if he knew what he would do instead of going. Shun had laughed and called him an old man in the same way Jin would have if he;d still been there. So here he sat sewing his son's name into his clothing and thinking of how his night would have been before.

Maybe he would have dropped Ryo off alongside Jin and then they'd go out to a beautiful dinner like they used to before they adopted the chubby baby. Their dinner would be filled of countless stories about the ridiculous poses they would be asked to try to preform and how their kouhai couldn't quiet get themselves together or made particularly funny faces. Then maybe they'd return home and open a bottle of wine from Jun's extensive collection. Jin would cuddle into Jun's sides the drunker he became and ultimately end up lying with his head on Jun's lap. His red hair would sprawl out around him like a halo of sunshine. He'd fall asleep there and beg Jun to carry him to bed only to change his mind and demand a bath together to relax.

Jun doesn't realize he's crying until the little drops begin soaking Ryo's name and smearing the marker forcing Jun to redo the entire name tag all together. His hands are shakier than before but the stitching is perfect. Jin had told him one time that he could balancing fifteen different things in his hands and still make a perfect stitch. Now the memory only made him sob a bit harder.

The guilt of finding other men attractive had sat in his gut like a brick every time he saw his son's teacher and every night after having the lewdest thought possible he couldn't help but bite back tears at the feeling of betraying his deceased lover. Nino had told him countless times in the past year that it was alright to move on with his life that Jin would have wanted him to find someone who loved him and Ryo. How could he move on when Jin had been such a large part of his life since he was thirteen years old. Jin had been his first love, his first kiss, his first for everything. He felt like nothing without his other half. Even the pictures did not do justice to what Jin truly was to him. It was so hard without the other man;s bright sunny presence in his life to make his hard personality shine. Even photographers commented on his lackluster smiles as of late.

Ultimately the next morning as Jun packs up his son's sleepover clothing he ignores the splotches of wet marker that dotted the once neat writing. Still the stitching was immaculate.

 

~~嵐~~

 

Aiba Masaki lived in a small shrine house up a short set of steps just outside the city. There was a cherry tree in the front yard as well as two smaller plum trees on either side. The stone pathway was gorgeous and looked older than the house itself. It was still chilly outside so Jun lead his son and sarcastic best friend toward the front of the home and knocks briskly on the door. They were a few minutes early but it did not seem like the cheery Aiba Masaki cared much. He welcomes them gleefully with hugs and shoos Ryo off toward Tamaki-chan and the other students from the boy's school. “Ohayo Matsumoto-san I'm so glad you and Ryo-chan could make it! I'm Aiba Masaki, yoroshiku.” Aiba's grin never wavers even as Nino looks at him in surprised curiosity. Jun had certainly looked at the man the same way when they first met a month ago during Ryo's first week. Aiba was an even brighter ray of sunshine than Jin had been.

“Hajimemashite, I'm Ninomiya Kazunari, yoroshiku.”

Aiba hastily excuses himself as another knock sounds on the door and then bustles away merrily. Nino comments absently about something having to do with a tornado or something of the sort before pulling his DS out of his pocket. He looked so different outside of the shows he appeared on that barely anyone ever recognized the petulant singer. Jun notices that despite Aiba's bustling nature the old house is anything but disorganized. It's bright, open, and very clean aside from the numerous birthday decorations.

Jun is surprised to find Ikuta-sensei doting over a little boy with a big toothy grin, much like Ikuta's, and a beautiful black haired woman sitting at his side watching the two play. They looked lovely together, Jun decided, even as he calls out something along the lines of a cat toward her. She only laughs as the other children join the little boy in beating Ikuta-sensei up. Ohno-sensei is sitting nearby bouncing a little girl on his lap and chatting with Sakurai-sensei as the man holds up an origami bunny for the girl. Ryo is already happily playing alongside the other children including the twins from his class. Nino follows quietly after Jun as Sakurai-sensei happily waves them over.

“Nino this is Sakurai-sensei and Ohno-sensei.” Jun motions to both and Nino looks up quickly before settling his eyes firmly on Ohno. Without another word he settles into the chair beside Ohno and the pair do not say another word to one another. “Um okay...”

“I guess it's just us left then Matsumoto-san. Ohno-san has pulled another person into his wicked web.” Jun nods and settles into the offered seat that Aiba must have discarded in his tornado of energy. Jun watches as the little girl run over to a tall dark haired man wearing glasses with his ear pierced. The macho man seemed completely opposite of the bright eyed girl in a bulging pink tutu but they fit together very well. The man has a bright pink woven bracelet around his wrist and Jun cannot help but smile at it. Ohno appears just as absorbed in Nino's gaming as what Nino was and that left Jun with no one but the incredibly attractive teacher to talk to. “Matsumoto-san has Ryo-chan been enjoying classes? I noticed he's not as reluctant to stay anymore.”

Jun glances up at the teacher and nods sharply a thousand questions on the tip of his tongue. “H-hai, Ryo has been excited to see his friends everyday but there are some days where he doesn't want to go. We're getting better with being in a new place.” The silence that surrounds them must be awkward if the looks Nino is shooting him mean anything so he blurts out the first question that comes to mind. “Why did you become a sensei? For children no less?”

Sakurai-sensei looks down at his glass of juice that one of the children had convinced him to drink earlier and he never finished. “When I was a college student my parents enrolled me in a tutoring program.” Sho pauses and glances up at the man beside him who is giving him his undivided attention. Jun had a way of staring at him that made him feel like spilling his heart and it was terribly hard to control. “I had to mess up and make amends but in the end I realized that helping children, who's hearts were so pure and unrelentingly giving made me want to be a better person. It was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I didn't want to be a newscaster after that.”

Jun smiles and continues firing off questions as they come to mind unknowingly with the same ease at which he used to when he was a kid lying in the grass outside school with Jin. Nino's looks were going unnoticed as he watches his younger friend loosen up and actually laugh for the first time in over a year. Jun's laughter was bright and vibrant in a way that put the sun's brightest rays to shame. His grin was always childish when he laughed and although Ryo wasn't his and Jin's by blood Jun's son shared this trait with his Papa. It was nice to see Jun laughing at the mysterious sensei that Jun had been feeling guilty about.

“They're nice together, ne?”

Nino turns toward the quiet principle of the school who had an unyielding love of fishing but spoke very little about anything else other than art and dancing. He was quiet, quirky, and intuitive which was everything Nino had hoped he would be when he had spotted the man when they walked in. He was also the only one who recognized Nino right away but did very little t point it out to the other man; as if he didn't care. “Hai, J hasn't laughed like that in quite some time. I wish he'd just admit that Sakurai-kun makes him happy.” Ohno nods softly but doesn't push the subject and instead studies Jun quietly for a moment. Nino knew just by looking at the sleepy man that Ohno-sensei knew from the very start just who Jun was despite the model having given up on taking pictures and rarely being noticed anymore.

“Jun-kun is like a fish.”

Maybe Nino should have looked at Ohno like he was crazy and maybe that's what the sleepy teacher expected but somehow Nino understood what it was that Ohno was saying. “Hai Ohchan, J certainly is like a fish, a cold bratty one though.” Ohno glances at Nino and then smiles brightly at Nino as he taps away at a game on his phone.

 

~~嵐~~

 

It was rather late when the last child fell asleep in the confines of their blankets and Aiba-kun finally settles into a seat in the living room again. Only a few of the parents were left behind including Ohno, Sho, Jun, Nino, and Ikuta and his wife who were preparing to depart for their much needed night out together. The pair bid farewell to the exhausted father who grins just as brightly as usual before walking the pair out with well wishes and a cheerful wave. The five that are left lean into the chairs and drink the rest of the drinks left over while munching on some cake Aiba had set aside previously for when the children went to bed. Jun had remained to help the older man clean up after the party much to Aiba's surprise and happiness. Jun had liked the man immediately but surprisingly not for his likeliness to Jin. Aiba, or Masaki as he demanded Jun call him, was a vibrant person who saw the good in everyone but was decidedly very clueless. He loves his son and was still very much in love with his overseas wife, Becky-chan. He was a very good friend and even brought Tamaki over to the park between them every weekend to meet with Ryo and have a play date.

“Tama-chan looked so happy, ne?”

Aiba nods happily at the thought of his son's happiness and then grins even wider. “He'll be even happier when his mama is home tomorrow evening for his birthday.” Everyone murmurs surprised sounds at this revelation because Becky-chan was finally coming home from a three month long venture to America to fix their branch there and stop it from failing and losing money. Tamaki would certainly be very happy to have his mama home. “It's tiring being a single parent Becky-chan was always better at parties and cooking and cleaning than I was.”

Aiba laughs at his own failure, something which Jun admire, but Jun can also see the longing behind those words. He himself feels the same way sometimes. Jin was better at talking to people, making them love him right away, and he was better at showing affection and making Ryo happy. Sometimes Jun could only do so much before he felt useless.

“You're doing really well though Masaki, Becky-chan said so herself.” Sho nods at his own statement and sips the wine Masaki had offered as a replacement for the way too sweet juice that Tamaki had begged for at his party. “I was just as surprised as she was that you actually pulled the party off without setting anything on fire or without breaking any bones.”

Aiba grins at the praise his childhood friend had bestowed upon him that really wasn't praising at all. Sho was teasing his friend and although Aiba knew it he took it all in good nature. “Sakurai-kun has a point their Masaki-kun you are very accident prone.” Nino decided that perhaps he should have gotten Jun drinking wine several hours ago if he was going to be their open to the small group. Then again his mind was otherwise preoccupied with the now sleeping sensei on his shoulder.

“Jun-kun you can't take his side! That's not fair!”

Jun's laughter is bright and mingles with Sho's deeper baritone as they cheer to one another and their continued torture of Aiba-kun. Aiba for what is worth laughs along with them while complaining about how now two of his best friends are going to be mean to him and that Ohchan isn't mean like them and maybe he should reconsider who he intends to spend his time with now. Nino for the must part laughs at his craziness and wonders if this was what he and Jun had needed since they lost their good friend. Maybe this was the peace of mind they had been searching for. Shun would even enjoy this small group that had been formed through old ties and new ones. He'd probably even agree that this Sakurai-sensei was exactly what Jun needed after a bit of persuasion from Yuu of course. Yes, this was certainly where they needed to be.  


	3. 3

Fandom: 嵐

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Sakumoto

Title: Chances

3

 

Jun was five the first time he met Ninomiya Kazunari. Nino was small in nearly every way physically possible which made for an odd pair perhaps as Jun had just began growing a bit more without gaining any weight. They were on the playground a block away from Jun's house and the other boys were making fun of the tiny boy pulling at his body and pushing him back and forth. They made fun of his messy hair cut and second hand clothing and although Nino would deny it vehemently he was crying when Jun stepped in.

The boys were older and stronger than Jun but he wrapped his arms around the littler boy and tugged him down the street and into winding roads that only they would be able to fit through. Finally they heard the boys passing by to find their mothers and muttering about little brats. Nino's tears had subsided for the time being and he was calm enough now to look up at Jun in surprise. “You've got really big eyebrows.” Nino doesn't flinch when Jun hits him on the head but he grins and then pouts.

“Baka, don't insult the person who just saved you!”

Nino cannot help but grin as the boy proceeds to check him over for injuries and murmur about what his mama always does when he's hurt. So when the boy finds a scrape on Nino's elbow, he presses a soft kiss to it and them pats Nino's hand. “Baka, shouldn't you tell people your name before kissing them?!” Nino feels proud of himself as a dark blush rushes across the slightly taller boy's cheeks as he drops Nino's hand.

“M-Matsumoto Jun!”

Nino grin at the boy's embarrassment and proceeds to pick up his hand once more. “Ninomiya Kazunari.” Jun's grin is brighter than Nino had ever seen someone smile and somewhere inside of his chest for the first time he wonders if this is what it meant to have a friend.

 

~~嵐~~

 

Jun and Nino were thirteen and going into their second year of lower secondary school when they met Akanishi Jin for the first time. He was a vibrant ray of sunshine brightening up their bleak lives as he swept into a fight and proceeded to accidentally punch Nino in the face before protecting him at the same time. After the fight finally finished and the bullies felt satisfied with their punishment for the day the trio laid in the grass groaning at their utter defeat until Jin rolled over, jumped up, and proceeded to pull both of them to their feet with another sunshine grin. His laughter was still happy and vibrant and completely okay. “Akanishi Jin, yoroshiku!” His fingers although a bit bruised hold up two peace signs and his smile never wavers even as Nino eyes him critically. Only with a harsh nudge from Jun does he respond to the boy.

“Ninomiya Kazunari, yoroshiku.”

“Matsumoto Jun! Arigato Jin-chan!” Jun bows toward the other boy but not in the same way most people would. Jun was not one for very formal things and thus he merely nodded his head and them wrapped an arm around Nino's bruised shoulders in a protective manner. “We definitely appreciate the help, Ne Kazu?”

To Nino's dismay Jun and Jin both look at him with nearly identical expressions and he cannot help but give in to the pair. “Hai, hai J. Ne Jin-kun, doesn't J have abnormally big eyebrows?” Jun cuffs him across the neck playfully before pushing him away with a bright laugh.

Jin for the most part nods shortly and then gains the same cuff from Jun as what Nino did. Nino watches as Jin easily fits into their group as the kind of bridge he and Jun had been missing for so long. “So J? Like the one manga?” Nino instantly like the boy a lot more and Jun blushed a dark shade of red and glares at Nino.

“Finally!”

Nino an Jin race down the street as Jun gives chase knowing he'd catch them at some point. Of course in the end they all managed to return to Matsumoto-san and get their new wounds tended too without any questions concerning their newest addition. The older woman merely berates him the same as Jun and Nino for getting into fights and coming back to her house bruised and beaten up. At the end she says once again that the least they could do is win a fight or two.

 

~~嵐~~

 

Jun met Oguri Shun when he was a fresh face in the modeling industry. The young up and coming actor with a lack of modeling skills was in the same studio of Jun's completely by accident and literally ran into Jin as the pair rounded a corner talking about which side of their faces were most photogenic for the coming session. Jin was halfway through a playful complaint that his lover had not been sleeping well enough if his eye-bags had anything to say about it when Oguri literally almost tackled the pair of them with his manager apologizing profusely for his client.

Jin never cared much for being angry over the little things like Jun, he put no importance into them. Accident were accidents and he let them slide. So instead of barking out an angry grumbling like his significant other he does the exact opposite. The skinny boy tugs up his taller lover and the blond haired actor with a happy grin as the actor spouts multiple apologizes while bowing repeatedly. “It's okay really. I'm Akanishi Jin and that big browed bundle of unhappiness if Matsumoto Jun. Is there anything we could help you with, ano...” The young actor blushes profusely and bows once more.

“O-Oguri Shun, and if it wouldn't be too much trouble could you tell me where studio 2-B is I'm going to be late?”

Jin grins brightly and explains that 2-B was actually and outdoor set that they used which was technically not really a studio to begin with and that it was right down the corridor behind a set of doors marked exit-B. Shun then proceeded to thank them and run off in the direction point much to his managers dismay.

Despite Jin's elation at helping a person in life Jun still glares sharply at his lover. “What is with you and Nino and making fun of my eyebrows!” Jun storms back to their dressing room much to his lover's amusement and proceeds to ignore Jin until he can't handle the other man's pitiful gaze any longer.

 

~~嵐~~

 

If there was one thing about Jun that Ninomiya Kazunari knew without a doubt in his mind it was that he had never seen the younger boy cry no matter how many angry comments and slurs were thrown his way. The first and last time Nino saw his best friend cry he had been surrounded by at least a hundred people that he knew personally or met through his best friend. Jun had not cried when they told him that night in the hospital or when they forced him into bed and Nino was forced to sleep with him that first week alone. He did not cry going ever possible detail of the funeral or every moment leading up to that one. Instead he sat in his seat throughout the ceremony as tears fell like rain down his pales cheeks. His eyes were hollow and lost as he stared t the gorgeous cherry red casket that certainly would have matched the life that his lover lived.

Shun, nor Nino, nor Ryo could change the hole torn through Jun's heart by one careless driver. Jun never showed Nino his tears again after that night when he cried until he couldn't breath and his eye fell heavy. They never talked about it the next morning or ever after that night. It was a topic so taboo and off limits that not even Nino, Jun's oldest friend, dared to tread those waters. Jun continued to stand strong as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Eventually a year had passed and while Nino knew that there were nights his friend cried when he was left alone he dared not say anything to shatter the small rose colored glasses that were helping his friend manage the world without Jin. 

"I just miss him Nin." 

Nino had never gotten anything more than that single whisper into the ceiling of a too dark room at three in the morning after that day. 

 


	4. 4

Fandom: 嵐

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Sakumoto

Title: Chances

4

 

The weather outside had taken drastic turn the moment Sakurai Sho set foot inside the threshold of his favorite pastry shop on the east side of town. Even as a simple nursery school teacher and a freelance journalist the young man did not live in a horrible part of Tokyo considering his father was a well known politician and his mother a university professor. His father would not allow his oldest son, and his pride, to live in the slums. The pastry shop was down the street from his apartment and year the rain fell so heavily that he was sure to be soaked through entirely if he even dared to return home now.

Over a steaming cup of coffee and an unfolded newspaper displaying his father's happy face the young teacher notices the figure breezing through the shops door looking weary and weathered. His face was dropped but his outfit stylish and well fitting. Yamada-san the young worker looks up in surprise to see another customer in the quiet little coffee shop that saw a rare few people but always managed to stay open. “Konbanwa welcome to White Rabbit!” The figure slouches out of a jacket and hat reveal the carefully crafted features of none other than Matsumoto Jun.

“Konbanwa Yamada-chan.”

“Ah! Jun-san what are you doing in this area?!” The young boy goes to work preparing a special drink for the older man without him having to utter a word. “I thought you said you were done and that you only wanted to take care of Nino-san.” Jun clucks his tongue in exasperation at the boy's intrusiveness but smiles sincerely none the less.

“It was done as a favor more than anything else.” Jun takes the offered drink and hands Yamada money for it which may have been too much but the boy only hands him back the right change either way. Jun appears to have noticed Sho sitting at the counter and slides in next to him at the small counter. His drink steams up from the cup the young boy had placed it in. “If you must know I missed the feeling of it as well. I've spent most of my life in pictures.”

Yamada nods cheerfully before excusing himself to answer the shrill ring of the telephone. Sho turns his face to meet the patient gaze of Matsumoto who seems all to surprised to see him gracing the counter of such a shop. “Konbanwa Matsumoto-san, it's quite a storm outside isn't it?” The younger man glances out at the streets where the rain poured down like it didn't want to end. His gaze lacked it's usual cheerful warmth which was something that sat heavily in Sho's stomach.

“Hai...” Sho watches as Jun's eyes widen in surprise as a plate of cookies is placed in front of the two men. Sho looks up as the young boy walks away arguing with someone perhaps his boss about something on the phone. Jun picks up a small cookie shaped like a heart and Sho watches completely lost on how to help as Jun's wide eyes tear up. “I haven't had these cookies since Jin's death. Actually I haven't come here at all since that day.”

“Why'd you come here then Matsumoto-san?”

“Huh?” Jun looks up and hastily wipes at his eyes before placing the cookie on the plate once more. “I needed something familiar, something I could hang on to. I felt like I needed to come back here.”

 

~~嵐~~

 

The rain was finally beginning to let up when they finally sat down to talk together in the warmth of Sho's small office. The house lights were dimmed and he had a few warm candles lit around the room in case the electricity gave out. Jun was nursing a mug of tea while Sho prepared his own. Even though they had only been at Sho's complex once to retrieve his car after their meeting at the coffee shop nearly a month ago Jun seemed to instinctively remember where it was.

“Where's Ryo-chan?”

“He's at his uncle's house for the night.”

Sho nods and settles into the chair across from the younger man. Jun looked like he was a mess, like his life was a mess. “Is everything alright?” Jun glances up and his eyes seem just as chaotic as his appearance tonight. Sho had never seen the put together father look even a hair out of place. It was a shock to see him walking in the pouring rain right out front of the sensei's apartment complex.

“No- I- I don't know anymore.” Silence descends upon them and Sho wonders how it is that he can feel closer to the younger man. Jun might not have been in the right state of mind but he was adept at changing the subject to fit with his agenda. “What about you? How are you always so put together? Surely somethings happened to you as well.”

Sho can see the flashes of face staring back at him accusingly and he cannot help but frown. So many people had been relying on him and he had turned his back on them. He had hurt so many in his quest to be perfect. “I was average or as average as a rich entitled kid could be. My father is a politician and my mother a woman's studies professor at an all girls university. I was their first son, their pride, so I was automatically enrolled in Keio's escalator schools.” Jun appraises him for a long moment as he debates on whether or not to speak his mind. Sho wanted Jun in the worst ways possible after teaching his son for several months but Jun came with just as much baggage as Sho.

“I figured you came from a well off family living in this district.” He doesn't apologize and Sho doesn't want him to because Jun had never said anything rude or wrong despite knowing up until this point. “So what changed that made you want to be a sensei working in a small school with hardly any pay.”

“I was well liked, president of the student counsel, got straight A's, but I was a horrible person. I was rude, impatient, entitled, and quick tempered. I thought everyone was beneath me if they could not keep up with me mentally. As a result of my attitude my parents forced me into a tutoring program to 'understand the struggles of others'. It was there that I met Kitagawa Keiko. She was a scholarship student in one of Keio's escalator school systems and she was incredibly poor. She was truly a genius and I often wondered why such a girl would need tutoring until I realized she had been skipping school. The other girls bullied her and the guys called her ugly and disgusting. None of her teachers cared, none of them; until the day she killed herself. I had done nothing after finding out about her bullying and after the day she died I swore to never go back to the world of the rich again. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of poor children like Keiko-chan. I wanted them to know that money was not everything and that people with money were fools.”

“You wanted to repent for sins that were not yours.”

Jun's answer is blunt and hits hard in Sho's chest because he had seen through the well formed sentences to what Sho did not feel right saying aloud. He had never intended for Jun to know what it was that made him stop seeing the rich kids he graduated with and instead earn a teaching degree and move into a poor area to work with even poorer kids. “Hai. Even after realizing how stupid it was I wanted to stay because I love it. I love seeing not only the happy faces of the children but the happy faces of the parents who are facing their own difficulties.”

Jun nods thoughtfully and this does not escape Sho but he allows the silence to continue hoping Jun would not disregard him for being so careless toward his student. She was such a wonderful person to have lost her life to the carelessness of rich kids. It made Sho wonder how many lives he had ruined with the same attitude as a child.

 

~~嵐~~

 

Jun was sitting on a bench alongside Aiba-san as Tamaki-chan and Ryo played on the nearby swing set. They were quiet as Jun thought about the revelations the young sensei had offered him a few nights prior. Aiba was content to talk mostly to himself and ignore the fact that Jun was clearly not listening. “You like Sakurai-sensei don't you.” Jun stares at Aiba pointedly trying to process what the older man had just said. Sometimes he just came up with things out of no where that tested the limits of Jun's understanding but made him think deeply about them none the less.

“Well yes, he's a very kind person but...I don't understand what you mean by saying that?”

Aiba rolls his eyes and chides Tamaki for not being nice and sharing his toys before turning his gaze back on Jun. Jun for the most part was wondering if Aiba meant exactly what Jun had been battling with recently. Did he have feelings toward Sakurai-sensei like those that he harbored for Jin for so many years. “Jun-kun, I know that it's probably really hard to think about liking someone new considering your past relationship but don't you think that maybe you deserve to be happy despite that?” Jun narrows his eyes and turns away from the other man to watch his beautiful baby boy playing with his close friend. Jun was happy, wasn't he? He had Ryo and that little boy always put a smile on his face no matter how many tears he cried. The thought of Ryo alone made his day better and easier to get through. Did he appear not happy?

“I am happy; I have Ryo.”

“No, Ryo cannot give you the same happiness and you know that.” Aiba smiles sincerely at that statement and Jun cannot find any will to muster up some defiance toward Aiba because seriously who could looking at those sincerely hopeful eyes. Aiba then proceeds to shrug and offer Jun a worried look. “Maybe I'm wrong, but I know that I'm never as happy as when I have both Tamaki and my wife alongside me. I love my son and I loved the woman who gave birth to him but I needed Becky because she made me happy in a way only Tamaki couldn't and I think Sho-san is the same way for you.”

“You mean Becky-chan is not Tamaki's mother by birth?” Aiba shakes his head at that and then glances toward his son. The little boy looked so much like Aiba that it was hard to tell who his mother was. He was vibrant and happy and pure just like his father something that amazed Jun. Those things are attributes that Jun would have once given to genetics until he adopted his own infant son and the boy took on characteristics of both him and his Papa. “What happened between you and his birth mother then?”

“I was a poor kid on scholarship and feel in love with some heiress. She got pregnant and her parents didn't want that stain on their name so they refused her and she couldn't handle the pressure so she left.” He did not seem nearly as sad as what Jun would have been had Jin left him like that but then again Aiba had several years already to work on himself and he was not the type to dwell on things. “I was broken for a while but then I met Becky-chan at a bookstore she worked at. I stopped in for weeks to check out books on how to be a proper parents and finally she confronted me and forced herself into our, truthfully, wrecked lives.”

“Arigato, Masaki-chan...maybe you're right.”

The pair fall into silence once more and Jun's thoughts stray to his chaotic feelings toward Jin, Sho, and his life as it was. Maybe Aiba was right, Jin was never coming back and Jin was so incredibly good natured that he would hate to see Jun struggling to hold himself back so much for his sake but he would also be furious that Jun was not going to make himself happy just because of Jin. Jun would have surely been punched by now if Jin was somehow to return form the dead for just a day. Jin would beat the shit out of him, kiss him, and push him away demanding that he go and fall in love again so he could stop being such an idiot. The thing was Jun didn't want to force a life with a child or even his own love on the young teacher if he was not even sure that was what the other man wanted.  


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the pair finally make their realizations a reality or not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Sorry! Sorry for such the long wait! Between finals week at school and working all week full-time I haven't been able to update in a really long time and since I couldn't update in a long time I've decided to give everyone a little extra instead of cutting this chapter off where I planned. Please enjoy!

Fandom: 嵐

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Sakumoto

Title: Chances

5

            For the next few weeks Jun silently observes the older sensei trying to figure out a way to spend time with the other man with it seeming like a date. Of course he certainly was not as suave as he had been when trying to get Jin's attention but Sho was as dense as a doorknob and was certainly unaware of the thoughts passing through the younger man's mind. Sho was still under the impression that Jun was a grieving mess when in fact he was a hot mess trying to figure out what he wanted out of the incredibly attractive sensei. Well, he was certainly still a mess but he knew what he wanted.

            After admitting his attraction to the sensei, at least to himself, it appeared to grow stronger and much more noticeable as the weeks wore on. His guilt lessened as he realized time and time again how angry Jin would be with him for pinning uselessly over another man and hating himself for doing so just because Jin wasn't with them anymore. So with no restrictions to his feelings he could not help but watch every move the lovable chipmunk cheeked sensei made. Sho only saw the new attention as a blossoming friendship between him and the young father after their time together at his apartment.

            Upon realizing this Jun decided that he would have to be really rather obvious about his intentions whatever they may be because Sho would certainly not pick up on any of the hints he was dropping much to Nino and Aiba's amusement. All these thoughts were a really rather large distraction in Jun's day to day life and made taking care of his son, doing his job as Nino's manager, and the occasional photo shoots he was beginning to do again so much more difficult. So much so that Nino was beginning to take notice and Nino being interested in anything about his personal life was an incredibly unfortunate event.

            “So Shun and Yu are taking Ryo for the weekend next weekend.” Jun glances up from where he was checking and rechecking Nino's schedule for the weekend as well as his own. He had been taking the end of the week off to do odd jobs here and there. It was nothing big anymore but enough to satisfy the desire. Nino looked entirely serious which meant bad things for Jun. “I told them you've been uselessly pinning over a certain sensei and that I'm forcing you to ask him out.”

            Jun was not sure whether he want to hug or slaughter Nino in that moment. Of course if he did the latter he would be out of a job. That being said he still had no desire to have Nino meddling in his practically nonexistent love life. “And what makes you think I'll be going along with that?” Nino grins mischievously before flashing Jun his cellphone where there was already a sent message to the older sensei. Nino had, Jun thought, been reading through their thread of messages to give him advice when in fact he had taken things into his own hands.

 

_To: Shomarisu_

_From: Maachan_

_Dinner? To make up the missed conference? ^.^_

_~Jun_

            Nino was smiling innocently but Jun's insides were in turmoil. “What if he says no? What if he says yes?! What if he thinks it's a date? Should it be a date? What if he expects it to be a date?! Oh god should I take him out or cook him something for dinner instead?! Would dinner be too far?” He wasn't ready for this yet. He wanted to lengthen the process. He was not the same courageous fourteen year old boy that had professed his unyielding love for another boy in the grass outside of their school.

            Maybe that was what set his stomach at ease as he realized that he still was the same boy inside that was brave enough to tell another human being that he loved him as much as losing Jin hurt him it could not be allowed to alter his desires for himself.

_To: Maachan_

_From: Shomarisu_

_Of course! When and where??_

_-SS_

            Nino can only grin secretly to himself as a flirtatious and predatory smile slips across Jun's lips as he decided exactly where he wanted Sho for the night instead of worrying over it. Maybe this was the kick in the ass that the other man needed to pull himself out of that destructive hole of grief and actually move on with his life like Jin would have wanted.

 

_To: Shomarisu_

_From: Maachan_

_Next Friday? My place? I'll cook._

_~Jun_

            The reply was instantaneous and Jun was happy to see an affirmative answer meaning they would be having their first date. Jun just had to figure out a way of making sure Sho knew that. He could not keep going on assuming that Sho would understand things because Jin would have. Sho is oblivious whereas Jun's former lover was not. Jun needed to be blunt and plainly say what it was that he desired with Sho because Sho was a different person but one who could just as easily capture the entirety of Jun's heart like his predecessor had. No, Jun wanted to be absolutely positive Sho knew this was their first date.

 

_To: Shomarisu_

_From: Maachan_

_It's a date! \^3^/_

_~Jun_

 

            Sho was shocked as the last message come through and he's immediately glad he had agreed to dinner at Aiba's house as the other man reads the messages over his shoulder. Of course Aiba had been in on Nino's plan to get the pair together and apparently Nino was right in assuming with a gentle push Jun would make sure Sho knew everything he needed to be able to determine that it was a date he was requesting. “Masaki...does he mean like a date as in an actual date?” Aiba understood that he could be quite thickheaded but his best friend, who was probably one of the smartest men he knew, could be worse than him.

            “Do you want it to be a date Sho-kun?”

            Sho was frozen in his seat staring at the phone with an incredibly happy grin on his face as he read and reread the message because it was Jun. It was the very same Jun who he had stumble over his words with the first time he met him because he was so gorgeous. It was the man he had whispered his deepest fears to. The man who saw through his carefully constructed wordings and hit him right in the spot he did not want to be seen but instead of criticizing him he was careful, calm, and sheltering from a storm that had raged for far too long. “Yes.” Sho is not sure if Masaki heard him or not but the younger man’s reassuring grin is evidence enough that he had.

_To: Maachan_

_From: Shomarisu_

_Can’t wait!_

_-SS_

~~嵐~~

 

            The next week passed in a blurr and Friday night quickly came. Jun was a wreck all day cleaning and re-cleaning his apartment again and again. Nino had found the actions hilarious to the point that he was thrown out of his friend’s home in the midst of a Jun-style tantrum. Jun finally calmed down when the pasta for dinner was finished boiling and the sauce was almost finished simmering. His hand were calm for once as he cut into his kasutera that he had prepared three days prior for desert. Jun knew the older man loved peppermints but he wasn’t sure what kind of sweets he enjoyed but kasutera was never a bad choice considering it was not overly sweet and was loved by many. Ryo loved kasutera and would eat it all the time. Jin used to scold him and tell him his belly would swell into a balloon if he ate too much.

            Ryo would sit in the kitchen for hours after Jun finished baking the treat asking again and again if he could eat it yet and then finally Jin would convince him to go shower only to surprise him with a small section of the crust he would cut off when he didn’t think Jun was looking. Aside from all these memories Jun remembers making the treat at home with his mother and sister when he was a little boy. Even now when his mother knows he’s been away from home for the weekend she’ll send him and Ryo the treat in the mail.

            Once he finished cutting the Kasutera, Jun pours himself a glass of wine and settles into an arm chair to try and relax before Sho arrives. It was only a few moments into relaxing when his doorbell rings and Sho is standing holding a bottle of wine in his hand. “I figured you wouldn’t really want flowers so I brought something you’d use instead.” Jun cannot help but smile as he takes the obviously expensive wine that Aiba or Nino must have told Sho was his favorite brand.

            “I’ve never tried this one before…you’re in luck.” Sho grins despite himself and follows Jun into the kitchen after switching his shoes to a pair of guest slippers. He was amazed by the delicate tastefulness of Jun’s apartment. There were certainly toys stacked neatly in a corner designated to Ryo but they were clean like every other surface of the apartment. The floors shone brightly and looked spotless and his kitchen was definitely the pride and joy of the spacious apartment. “I hope you like pasta and I made kasutera for dessert; I hope you don’t mind.”

            Sho was overjoyed. He loved food in general but he also loved kasutera and pasta. Jun had never cooked for him before but if it tasted anything like it smelled he was happy to eat every last bite of it. “Both sound delicious Matsumoto-san.” Jun grins vibrantly at Sho and relieves him of the bottle of wine to settle it on the counter and retrieve a glass from his cabinet for his guest.

            “Here.” Jun hands him the now filled glass and allows his fingers to brush lightly along the tips of Sho’s. “I’m not Matsumoto-san by the way…I think we’re a bit past that by now aren’t we?” Sho’s cheeks darken intensely as he tries to hide them behind his glass of wine. Jun’s lips only quirk more as he stares at his counterpart for the evening. “Would you like to try the sauce? It’s almost finished.”

            Sho chokes a bit on his wine but nods none the less and takes the offered spoon between his lips when Jun holds it out for him. If Jun wanted to play this game Sho would certainly play it right back. “It’s delicious. I can’t wait to try Jun-kun’s pasta with his sauce.” Jun may not have ever seen a more delicious sight than Sho’s plump lips falling over his wooden stirring spoon but his tongue flicking out over said lips tosses that idea out the window immediately.

            Sho smirks in triumph when Jun whirls around to finish stirring the sauce. His nimble hands flick off the heat and he pours the drained pasta into the sauce with skill. When he is finally finished he pulls two pristine white plates from a cabinet over his head with practiced ease and begins plating their food. When they finally sit down to eat after the first bite of the delicious meal their conversation seems to flow endlessly. Even long after the meal was ended and the desert plates were left empty, the pair continued well into the bottle of wine but not so much that they were truly inhibited.

            “So, would you like to sit out here all night or maybe go to the living room and sit on more comfortable furniture?” Sho chuckles at the younger man before nodding sheepishly and helping him bright their dishes to the sink. Sho nudges the younger man as he runs hot water to rinse them and then hands them to Sho to place in the dishwasher. Once they are both finished and their glasses are refilled they settle themselves onto the sofa and share a small smile with one another. It was sincere and it sent small flutters through Jun’s chest as soon as those chipmunk cheeks moved to expose perfect white teeth.

            Sho did not smile like Jin, all cool cools with a perfect photo smile exposing no gums; and that was perfectly alright. Sho’s grins were goofy in a way that was charming to its core. His gums were exposed and his eyes scrunched up a little bit and his cheeks were way too big and hid the small lines that emphasized his chin but god did he make Jun’s heart flutter when he looked at him like that. “Jun-kun?” Jun blinks at Sho when he moves to wave his hand in front of the younger man’s face. Sho was not Jin and that was okay. His heart didn’t feel like it was going to stutter to a stop like with Jin but instead is fluttered happily and contently with Sho. He didn’t feel like he couldn’t breathe when he wasn’t with Sho but god was he excited when he thought about seeing the older man.

            Sho’s worry escalated when the younger man continues to stare at him thoughtfully. His worry is quickly replaced with shock when the younger man leans forward and presses an exploratory kiss to his lips. It was pure bliss as his hands find hips and guide them until Jun’s thighs are caging his and his hands are snaking around the older man’s neck. Their exploration is continued as Sho’s tongue swipes over his lips and those plump appendages are parted for him without another thought. It was maybe the best kiss of his life and dear god it felt like he couldn’t breathe as Jun bit into his bottom lip and muttered something equivalent to ‘bedroom’ against the skin there. It was not a question but a command and if Sho had any doubt about this being a date before he stepped through that doorway tonight he was certainly positive he was not going home tonight.


	6. 6

Fandom: 嵐  
Genre: Romance  
Pairing: Sakumoto  
Title: Chances  
6

It was still dark in the room when Sho rolled over and was met with the sleeping face of his new, dare he think it, lover. Even in his sleep Jun was gorgeous to gaze upon. His full lips were still swollen from the kisses shared so many hours before and his thick lashes were lying peacefully across his cheeks. “Stop looking at me like some stalker and come back here.” Jun’s voice is deeper, thick with sleep, but still very much Jun. “Sho, ‘m cold.”  
Maybe it was hearing his name mumbled so sleepily but the older man found the younger impossibly cute in that moment. He looked and sounded much younger than he had in the months since they met. “Sorry…come here.” The younger man rolls toward him and wraps his slightly longer frame around Sho’s bulkier one. “Better?”  
“Mhmm…”  
“Jun-kun?” The younger man hums sounding close to sleep again. “I’m…get some sleep you deserve it.” Jun peeks an eye open and stares at Sho for a long uncomfortable moment. Sho somehow got the feeling that Jun knew what questions were going through his head after this evening. It was as if Jun could read every word passing through his mind.  
“You’re not a replacement. You never have been.”  
Jun’s fingers find his and lace together under the blankets in a vice like grip. How he had known without Sho saying the words was beyond the older man but he was reassured none the less. It was a gentle kiss that led to another and another until Jun was straddling his hips and grinding down on him repeatedly until he couldn’t think straight. Jun was simply gorgeous with his bed head and framed eyes. His smirk was devious but that too was lovely; full of shining white teeth and fresh pink gums.

~~嵐~~

Jun woke with a start as sweat dripped from his brow bone along the curve of his cheek and into the taut planes of his neck. His chest heaved and the images remained ever stagnant in his head. They taunted him promising the bitter sweet demise of all he held dear in just so little of a time. With a heavy sigh he slides out of the warm sheets that were wrapped so sinfully around the body of another and steps into the steaming shower to try and wash away the terror that still hung heavy in his chest like a bowling ball. Sometimes he still felt like that night was so close; like it had been just hours ago that everything his life was built upon came falling through. Others, he knew he was worlds away from those few short moments where he had prayed to every god he had ever read about in high school and cursed himself for not reading more during his world religions class.  
“Night terror?”  
Jun whirls around and meets Sho’s unwavering gaze as he leans against the pristine white counter top of Jun’s sink basin. Seeing the older man up and walking around at such an ungodly hour was enough to give Jun’s downtrodden heart a kick start and send a small smile blossoming onto his lips. “Yes but not about what you think it was about.” Jun steps into the heat of the shower and runs an anxious hand through his hair until he feels chilly hands sliding over his hips.  
“Care to share?” Sho’s voice was low; octaves lower than it should have been. It send chills down Jun’s spine but the heavy feeling was still in his chest. Perhaps Sho could sense that because he stepped back after a few moments and begins cleaning off his own body before moving to Jun’s still untouched skin. “We can talk after this; sit down and really talk about what’s going on. If you want to we can. You haven’t talked to anyone since then have you?”  
“No. I did but it’s really not about Jin.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Positive.”  
“Then…what?”  
Jun pauses unsure of how to really tell Sho that it had been the older man lying on that bed, white sheet over his grey face. Beautiful eyes forever closed to the world and to Jun. It was Sho leaving Jun and Ryo alone after the little boy had grown so attached to the older man. How could he tell the older man that the very image of that, however fake it really was, sent more terror through him that seeing Jin like that had? What right did Jun have to make him so important when he wasn’t even sure if Sho was ready to be seen like that? “It was you.” Jun drops his head under the spray of the shower despite Sho looking at him like a lost puppy. “I saw you on that table okay. I saw you gone and it terrifies me.”  
Jun’s fist slams against the titled wall and he doesn’t dare to glance back at Sho for fear that the other man would look at him in anger because really it was about Jin but more about the fact that Sho would end up like Jin somehow and he’d leave Jun alone too because dear lord did Jun realize how much he wanted Sho to be a part of his life until the day that their old and withered and death takes them naturally. He wanted Ryo to know Sho; to love them despite Sho not being Jin. He wanted Sho to be their missing third because it was lonely as two thirds of a whole trying to make it in this world.  
“Jun look at me.”  
It was a command something Jun had rarely seen from the other man and it was something not all together unpleasant; in fact it was rather sexy. There were other things Jun’s mind needed to work over but that little piece of information would be filtered away for later discovery. Despite his racing mind Jun finds himself complying with Sho’s command. Sho fingers find his chin in a tight pinch before Sho is leaning forward and capturing Jun’s lips in a soothing kiss that send sparks right into Jun’s stomach.

~~嵐~~

Sho stepped into the brightly lit kitchen and pours himself a glass of coffee as he waits for Jun to finish getting dressed. His eyes wander across the immaculately clean kitchen and stop to rest on a small picture framed and hung on the wall near the pantry. It was not quite as big as what Ryo said it was when he first told Sho about it but it was sad in a sense. They were truly happy at one time instead of being a broken fragment of a family. Somehow Sho fit into the spot that Jin left but in a different way because Sho could never be the other man.  
Ryo was young perhaps one or two and he was laughing in the picture. His hands held tightly by Jun who was lifting him up as if to hold him. Jin’s arm was wrapped lightly around Jun’s shoulder and his flaming orange mane of hair was highlighted by the sunlight in an incredibly color that Sho could never pull off. His opposite hand threw a peace sign and his grin was nothing short of picture perfect. Jun on the other had was everything Sho had grown to love even in this picture. His gums were exposed in the way that they are when he finds something truly funny or he’s incredibly happy and his black hair was a bit longer but that too was alright. Two other men stood on the sides of Jun and Jin. One was Ninomiya, who had developed an odd relationship with Satoshi as of late and the other man, Sho assumed, was Shun. Shun was taller than Jun by only a few inches and his hair was an average shade of brown despite Jun telling Sho once that Shun’s hair was more colors than even his and Jin’s.  
They looked like the perfect happy family. “Ryo loves this picture though he makes it seem much bigger than it really is.” Sho jumps back from where he was taking in the picture to look at Jun who was preparing a cup of coffee for himself at the kitchen counter. “This was taken before Shun got married. He and Yui-chan were engaged but he had only just asked the three of us to be his groomsmen.” Jun’s smile is worth the stab to Sho’s heart because somewhere in the back of his mind he’s reminded that if another man had not died he would not have gotten a second glance from the amazing man in front of him.  
“You looked really happy. Both of you looked really happy.”  
“We were. Most of the time.”  
“Are you happy now?”  
Jun stares at him for a long moment with one hip leaning against the counter and one hand holding onto his mug of steaming coffee. He looked so picture perfect that for a split second it stunned Sho. Jun was so extraordinary sometimes that it rendered Sho speechless and in all honesty Jun could be doing the simplest things and Sho would think that. “It depends.”  
“On?”  
“You.”  
Jun offers him a weary half smile that shows so much and so little at the same time. Was Sho really an important facet in their lives now? Did he fill the space left behind? In some ways, more than likely, but maybe just maybe he had made a space for himself instead of filling one left behind. “Why me?” It meant a lot more than what Jun might have thought it meant. Then again, Jun knew what he meant without Sho ever having to vocalize it.  
“Because you’re important to us. There’s something about you that makes him so happy; something that makes him smile in ways he never smiled before.” Jun fingers the edges of the shirt he’s wearing as his eyes drop to the floor. Sho would have worried had it not been for the indulgent smile playing at the edges of Jun’s mouth. His eyes were simply gorgeous with this emotion in them, Sho thinks. “Because you matter to me in ways I never thought possible even before. You’re special. You laughter makes me want to laugh with you and your happiness makes my heart leap. You make me feel like I’m better than I think I am. You make me want to be better. I think I may love you for that as crazy as it sounds.”  
“And?”  
There was more there had to be more by the way Jun was biting his lip and twisting his hands. “And, I’m terrified it’s not what you want. We’re not what you want.” Sho sets his cup on the counter and moves across the room with only one purpose in mind to reassure this beautiful man in front of him that’s he’s here. For as long as Jun will have him, he’s here. His fingers cup Jun’s chin perfectly and Sho kisses him like he’s the moon, the stars, the sun, and the air. He kisses him like he’s the end of the earth and Sho’s walking off the edge.  
“You are exactly what I want. Both of you.”  
Jun’s fingers finally wrap around his hands and Jun pulls them away only to wrap his arms around Sho’s neck and kiss him deeper; stealing Sho’s last breaths away. Jun does not move very far away when their kiss breaks. Instead he rests his forehead against Sho’s with his gorgeous ocher eyes closed tightly to the world. “I’m glad.” It was a broken murmur as fresh tears bud on his lashes before they fall slowly off their tips. But Jun was smiling so blindingly that he couldn’t possibly be sad about this Sho decides. And Jun’s eyes looking at him with so much passion and giddiness only solidified his thoughts.  
Jun leans into the strong hands cupping his face as diligent thumbs wipe at his tears catching most of them when the fall before they can even leave his cheeks. He had never been so relieved in his life. He had never wanted something more than he had in those few short moments of doubt. To hear Sho decide that this was where he wanted to be made Jun so ungodly happy.


End file.
